Messing With Joker
by Kenchi123
Summary: The First in my "The Commander's Order" Series.  Shepard finds out Joker's dirty little secret and decides to take things straight to the bed.


Messing with Joker

Commander Shepard,out of curiosity,decided to check the security cameras. Why? Just because,he had a _feeling_. Yes, just a _feeling_. He watched the recording for the previous night. He watched Joker watching **him** take a shower. Shepard smirked, "Well now...," he chuckled, "What do we have here?". He also noticed Joker's right arm moving in somewhat of a pattern. He couldn't exactly see what he was doing,due to the fact that the camera was situated behind Joker in the corner of the room. He watched as the movement of Joker's hand was increasing in speed. "You're a dirty boy Jeff...".

Later that day Shepard entered the cockpit.

"So Joker how are things up here?",he asked nonchalantly.

Joker spun his chair around, "No problems here Commander"he looked over to where EDI "was", "She's been quiet all day", he whispered.

Shepard smiled, "Maybe "she" wants to give you some privacy".

Joker shrugged, "Whatever"

Shepard smirked,_Maybe__it's__time__to__tell__him..._,he thought,imagining him and Joker,in bed,together,having sex,he started to drool. Joked waved at him, "Hey Commander?",he raised an eyebrow, "Earth-Well Normandy to Commander Shepard!".

Shepard snapped out of his sexy thoughts, "Huh?".

Joker gave him a confused look, "You okay?"

Shepard nodded, "Yeah,yeah..."

"Uhh...Commander..."

"What?"

"You've got a boner"

Commander Shepard smirked.

Joker,once again, gave him a confused look, "What were you thinking about?"

Shepard grinned, "You"

Joker spun his chair back around, "Yeah,yeah,real funny Commander".

Shepard stop his chair mid-spin,looking straight into his eyes, "Who said I was joking?",a serious look on his face.

Joker was speechless,his face grew red, "C-Commander?"

Shepard leaned forward, "I want you Joker,now"

Joker panicked, "W-Wa-Wa-Want me?". Normally he wouldn't panic like this. Hell,he wanted the Commander and would confidently accept his want,but he had to really make sure he wasn't just joking. He had too many embarrasing experiences in the past. Shepard leaned in more,their lips just centimeters apart. He could taste Shepard's breath and he sucked every breath in.

"Well,?"

Joker could taste the lust and desire coming from Shepard's mouth. His breaths were short and more rigid. Finally he just said _screw__it_. Joker closed the gap between their mouths. The kiss was a wild kiss of raw emotion and passion. Their tongues wrestled. They were almost literally eating each other's faces. Finally they pulled away for air. Breathing heavily, Joker questioned his commander, "How'd you know?"

Shepard smiled, "I saw you last night..."

Joker smiled, "Well Commander, how about we take this to your quarters"

Shepard turned around, to help Joker up onto his back, "I'll carry you"

Joker smirked,"Why do I think you just want my dick rubbing against you?"

Shepard shrugged, "Because your a smart guy?"

As the entered the elevator, Joker notice Kelly giving them a look.

"Commander,your girlfriend doesn't seem to happy..."

"She'll be alright",Shepard replied.

By the time the elevator reached Shepard's room they were naked and all over each other. They moved to the bed in one swift dash. Next thing Shepard knew he was on his back with Joker all over him. Joker desperately sucked and licked nearly every part of Shepard's body. Then the thought hit him.

"How the hell are we supposed to do this?", Joker asked.

Shepard rolled over onto his stomach, "You fuck me,no broken bones,no one gets hurt".

Joker shook his head, "But you're like,bigger,than me..."

"Fine then",Shepard got up and pulled Joker's face close to his,"I'm ordering you,to _**fuck**____**me**_!".

Joker shrugged, "Whatever Commander".

He positioned himself between Shepard's legs and put Shepard's ankles on his shoulders. He thrusted into Shepard swiftly yet roughly.

"Fuck...Joker!", Shepard complained, "What the hell!"

Joker smirked, "Well, you ordered me to fuck you Commander".

He pulled out and moved in again and again,picking up speed with every thrust. He moved faster and harder. Shepard moaned and gripped the sheets,tearing them.

"Damn you Joker!"

His legs slid off of Joker's shoulders and he sat up. Joker smiled and thrusted into him hitting the right spot. Shepard kissed Joker's lips, his tongue slid over and around Joker's. Joker began to move in a crazed manner,thrusting faster and faster. The two moved like wild animals. Their sweaty bodies became one as both reached climax. Joker spilled himself inside of Shepard, and Shepard spilled his seed all over himself. Joker collasped on top of Shepard,exhausted. They lay there, sweaty,their sharp,rigid breaths the only thing that could be heard. Shepard kissed Joker, "So, do I get a round two?".

"Hell no...",Joker sighed.

Shepard layed Joker on his back and went under the covers. Joker was too exhausted to see what he was up to. But he found out when he felt Shepard's warm tongue on his wet cock. He moaned loudly,"C-Cmon Shepard...",he whined, "Don't you have a galaxy to save?".

Shepard ignored him and continued to suck on his cock.

"Shepard,a Collector vessel is approaching the rear side of the ship",EDI warned.

Shepard's head flew up so fast his blanket flew across the room. Joker sat up,"Oh shit! When did they come?"

If EDI were human she'd be smiling, "That was a joke."she stated blankly.

"EDI!" the two men screamed.

_End_


End file.
